It's a Thursday night and I'm sat at home in front of my computer instead of down at Warhammer World laying the smack down upon my fellow “Claws&Fistians”. Of course I assumed that they would all think I was glued to my old/new addiction (World of Warcraft) and while I will pop on in a bit I thought I'd write a blog post to let them know I've not gone completely over to the dark-side … yet. The reason that I'm at home is because my wife asked me if I'd mind skipping my weekly gaming night-out because she's not feeling well and would like some help with the baby. Now there's any number of things that are wrong with this excuse, particularly the fact that Dan goes to bed at 7:00 and sleeps like the dead so he really isn't any trouble. But my missus is extremely cool about me disappearing off to play 40k every Thursday so when she asks me to miss a week I know better than to say anything other than “Sure, no problem.”!
Obviously keeping the wife on-side is an important part of being a Gaming Dad but the thing that I probably worried about most before Daniel arrived was the impact that he would have on my free time. With a year's worth of experience under my belt I can look back and feel a bit stupid about that. It's not that becoming a Dad doesn't soak up a lot of the free time that you had before but it's more about the fact that I can't think of anything I'd rather do than spend time with my son. It's probably a bit of a cliché but becoming a Dad changes your priorities.
Don't get me wrong, I still love to play games, 40K, WoW and any number of PC and board games. Spending time with your child does not mean having to neglect any of your hobbies it's not even a balancing act, it's just something you settle into naturally. I guess it's much easier though with a partner who gives you the support you need to be able to do it so I have to say that I am a lucky man in that respect.
So it's at this point where I might say something like so far so good but it's going to get more demanding the older he gets, but if I said that then I would have learned nothing over the last year. In fact I'm sure that as Dan gets older things will change but only for the better, at the very least I'll get to massage my win-loss ratio for a couple of years.
Any other gaming dads out there? Please comment below.
I'm with you 100%
ReplyDeleteI have 2 little buggers (1.5 and 4.5) and I agree that I've settled into a routine with them and the wife. My wife is very understanding, but it does help that my usual gaming takes place in my basement. When I head to tournaments, there's grandma and grandpa available to babysit.
They definitely take more time as they get older, but they also are more interested in helping/doing their own thing. My son has started to paint a bit with me, so I have a couple of Tau Stealth Suits done up in a rainbow of colors.
As the father of 3 young boys, I wouldn't say that having kids doesn't have an effect on your hobbies. It definitely soaks up a lot of the time and money you had to throw around before. And forget going gaming more than once a week (if that). Even when you do get some painting/modeling time, it usually has to be shared with watching the kids.
ReplyDeleteBut the kids become your priority, so everything else has to fall in line with that. Your hobby will always take 2nd seat.
Gaming Dad here, too, though separated from their non-gaming Mom.
ReplyDeleteI think you'll find as the kid expands, gaming and Dadding can go hand-in-hand.
I sometimes write about being a gaming dad at my super-mediocre blog: enormous-noise.blogspot.com
Feel free to pop in. I've actually written a bit about "kid friendly" rules adaptations and the like.
The first wasn't a too bad as I only alloted a certain amount of time to hobby stuff anyway. But now I have one that is 20 months and one that is 6 months my wife and I spend a lot of time worn out. I definitely agree the kids are the priority, I just wish I had more energy left at the end of the day when they go to bed! I think that's why God makes small children so cute; so no matter how much they wear us out, we still love them and put them first.
ReplyDeleteWell I'm a gaming mom, which is a different thing entirely. My kids are teens, which is different too- but I went through well over 10 years of no games due to kids. I still had hobbies, just ones that I could do at home with the kids.
ReplyDeleteI'm over that now.
Gaming dad of a 1y3m old boy here. I have actually picked up with the hobby after he was born. I dropped other activities since the gaming + hobbying can be done @ home too.
ReplyDeleteJust hoping that we'll be a gaming son & dad some day :)
I'm a gamer dad, my son is 7 and my daughter is 5. My wife is a non-gamer, and we are pretty good about letting each other get out of the house when we need or want to.
ReplyDeleteMy son is already talking about his first WH40k army and he (nor I) cannot wait until he is old enough to play. My daughter talks about it too, but I think she is just copying her brother.
I did just assume you were with your new WOW friends last night.
ReplyDelete